Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
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