What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
