apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize