so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
