The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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