good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
