WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
