So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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