Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
