idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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