I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
