So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
