who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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