"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize