She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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