I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
