just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
