its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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