READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
