I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
