i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
birth control should be required to get into college
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
