i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
