There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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