this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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