Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
