yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
