i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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