im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
