Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
