grandma shit on top of the toilet
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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