the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
