Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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