Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
