I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
