the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
