soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
