The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
