Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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