Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
