um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
