I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
