Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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