well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Randomize
