shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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