2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Me too!
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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