he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
