we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
