i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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