I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
