who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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