Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
