Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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