spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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