every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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