You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
His hands were made for my vagina.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
