Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
pray to the hookup gods
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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