Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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