I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
