You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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